


remember me, love, when I am reborn

by QueenOfCarrotFlowers



Series: Finnreylo Romance Tropes [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Hitchhiking, Implied Murder, Multi, Road Trips, Unhappy Ending, but there's an epilogue that makes it better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 08:14:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19826116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfCarrotFlowers/pseuds/QueenOfCarrotFlowers
Summary: Kylo picks up a couple of hitchhikers.Trope: Road Trip





	remember me, love, when I am reborn

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little thing I've been writing in my head for months, and it was time to get it out. I write so much Reylo from Finn's POV I wanted to try some Finnrey from Kylo's POV. This is very simple with a lot of exposition and not a lot of dialogue. It might deserve a longer, more detailed story but I'm not writing it. 
> 
> Thanks to flypaper_brain for the encouragement (although she didn't beta this one - it is 100% unbeta'd) and for giving me the title, which is a lyric from Hozier. I really don't know what I would do without her.
> 
> The epilogue is in the endnotes. Enjoy!

He picked them up at a rest area near Youngstown, Ohio. He was about seven hours out from Philly - nighttime road works on 476 had slowed him down but he was still making good time, and he had five days before he had to meet up with Snoke and Hux in Portland. He had plenty of time. It would be fine.

It was a stupid thing to do, offering the kids a ride, but the girl was crying and the guy was holding her as though she was the most precious thing in the world, and there was a part of Kylo that wished that he'd had someone to hold him like that when he was younger. The guy was black and strong and handsome, with twists in his hair and a serious attitude that only softened when he looked at her. She was tall and thin, long dark hair pulled into a bun and freckles dancing across her nose. They were pretty, the two of them, and Kylo wouldn't insult your intelligence by pretending that wasn't also a reason he offered them a ride. He certainly never expected the attraction to go anywhere.

They were sitting together under a picnic shelter and Kylo only noticed because there weren't any cars aside from his own in the lot. So after he did his business and grabbed some chips and a Coke from one of the vending machines he went over to talk. She wept quietly, looking at the ground instead of looking at him, and she seemed happy enough to let the guy do the talking. Little alarm bells sounded in the back of Kylo's head; he'd seen his share of ladies with men who wouldn't let them talk, and it wasn't always good, but every question he asked got a gentle request for a _yes_ or _no_ from her from the guy, and the two of them held each other like they were all they had. Kylo was satisfied, for whatever that was worth.

They wanted to go west, and that's where Kylo was going, so after a few minutes they all jumped in with both feet, driving off in his innocuous grey sedan.

They insisted on keeping their duffle bag with them in the car, and Kylo was smart enough not to ask any questions. They'd offered him cash for his trouble, and he knew enough not to ask any questions about that either.

The girl fell asleep in minutes, her sobs finally ceasing, draped across the backseat with her head in her boyfriend's lap. Kylo finally introduced himself; the guy said his name was Finn.

"Finn, what kind of a name is Finn?" Kylo asked, honestly curious, not trying to be a dick.

"Short for Finley. What kind of a name is Kylo?"

Kylo hadn't answered that, and Finn had laughed.

"It's a fake name, isn't it? I don't care. As long as you get us where we're going, I don't really give a fuck."

The girl's name was Rachel, "but call her Rey," Finn said.

* * *

Three hours later the sun was just peeking over the horizon, shining blindingly in Kylo's rear view mirror, and he'd decided he'd had enough. So he pulled off at the next exit and found the seediest motel he could, and prepaid for a room with cash. 

The girl - Rey - had slept the entire ride, but she woke up just long enough to hobble into the room, use the toilet, and fall asleep again as soon as her head hit the pillow. Finn stayed up with Kylo for a little while; they sat on chairs on the balcony outside the door, smoked cigarettes and ate donuts and drank coffee from the "free continental breakfast" offered in the motel lobby. They talked over the rickety hum of the air conditioner, neither of them forthcoming but both of them happy to have someone to spend time with.

Eventually exhaustion overtook them both. Finn stripped to his boxers and wrapped himself around a dead-to-the-world Rey, and Kylo washed his hands and face before collapsing on the other bed. He watched them sleep through half-opened eyes, feeling creepy and jealous and not quite understanding why.

* * *

Kylo's phone rang at 2pm, waking them all up. He took the call outside, and when he came back fifteen minutes later the other two were taking a shower. He tried to ignore the scent of sex in the air, quickly tucking a five dollar bill under the heavy glass ashtray next to the television as a tip for the housekeeper and jogging down the concrete stairs to wait for them at the bottom.

They went to the diner across the street to eat. Kylo had breakfast, eggs and bacon and sausage and a waffle with whipped cream - given a choice, Kylo would always eat breakfast when he was on the road - and the other two had burgers. Rey had slept off whatever had been ailing her, and the fuck she'd had earlier had probably helped with her mood, too. Kylo tried not to think about that but the harder he tried not to think the harder it was not too. The room had smelled good, and the two of them were smiling and laughing at the table, he could easily imagine what they looked like when they were fucking. But then they invited him to smile and laugh too, and it was good to feel included, even though he also felt a bit like a creep.

Finn insisted on paying, drawing twenty-dollar bills from a wad he kept in his front pocket. Kylo and Rey walked out to the car together, and as she loudly sucked at the dredges of her vanilla milkshake, Kylo pointed to a smattering of brown at the bottom edge of her grey t-shirt.

"You got some ketchup on your shirt."

She pulled the fabric out with her free hand and took a long glance.

"That's not ketchup," she replied, and that was all she said.

* * *

It turned out that when Rey wasn't weeping she was funny and smart; her eyes shone beautifully when she smiled. Kylo could really see why the two of them were together. She liked to make up stories; at least Kylo assumed they were made up, set in foster homes and abandoned stores but featuring princesses and wizards who team up with dragons to overthrow the evil. Kylo liked her stories; he could use a dragon to help him overthrow an evil. Too bad dragons aren't real.

Rey told stories until she stopped, and then Finn fished some old copies of Readers Digest out of their duffle bag and read them bad jokes and extracts from bad novels, and eventually it was time to be quiet. It took them hours to get to that point, and by then Kylo was sick of driving and it was time to stop to eat and sleep again.

Another shitty motel, another room prepaid in cash. Kylo took a shower and when he came back out the kids were snuggled up watching some old movie on cable. Kylo asked for a Readers Digest, which they happily gave him, and he read for a while but the next thing he knew he was waking up in a dark room and somebody was crying.

Not crying. Not this time.

"Baby, if you're not quiet he's going to wake up." Finn was whispering, and Rey answered with another moan. "You don't want to wake him up, do you?"

They were talking about him, Kylo, and his cheeks burned. He did his best to maintain steady breathing; they didn't need to know that he was already awake.

"Maybe I do," she murmured. "Maybe I want him to watch you make me come. Maybe I want to fuck him too." There was a wet noise, and Rey whimpered. "Maybe you should fuck him yourself."

Rey having an orgasm was a visual Kylo had been avoiding since the moment they met, but there it was unbidden; her head thrown back, face red with exertion, a deep whine rising from the depths of her chest. It was a lovely thought. With Finn, or with him. Maybe with both of them. His cock was so hard in his jeans, and all he could do was ignore it.

Finn's voice was quiet and strained.

" _Fuck_ , baby, you're so fucking naughty. I love you."

"I love you too," Rey answered, and their whispers devolved into moans, their movements stealthy, but the scent of it gave them away. Kylo drifted off to the gentle rocking of the other bedframe and Rey's heavy breathing. He fell asleep before she came.

* * *

The next day went much the same. They woke up earlier, to the knock and a cry of "Housekeeping!" and there was no reason to stick around. Another diner breakfast/lunch. More stories, more jokes. More smiles and laughs and Kylo trying not to think about his new friends having sex with each other, or with him.

It was a good routine, and Kylo could get used to it.

He couldn't, though. He knew what was waiting for him in Portland, and it wasn't good. He wasn't sure he would live through it, so he should enjoy life while he can; he just shouldn't get used to it.

It probably would have been fine if Hux hadn't called just as they'd stopped for gas. Rey'd gone inside to prepay and pick some snacks, and Finn was at the pump. Kylo was by the ice cooler, trying to maintain some dignity, when Rey came out and saw him there.

"Hey Kylo," she called as she jogged over, "do you want Twizzlers or Snickers? Or some of both?"

He covered the phone but it was too late; Hux's smarmy voice came through loud and clear.

"You have a girlfriend with you, hmmm? Snoke will be interested to hear that."

"She's not my girlfriend," Kylo growled, waving her away and turning his back to her. "She's nobody you need to worry about."

"I'm not the one who makes those decisions, and neither are you," Hux scolded. "Snoke will look forward to meeting her on arrival, I'm sure."

Rey was quiet in the car; there were no more stories that day.

Kylo ate the Twizzlers.

* * *

The next time they stopped for sleep, Rey went inside to take a shower and Finn bought a six-pack of beer and some cigarettes at the gas station across the street. He and Kylo sat on plastic chairs on the balcony and watched the sunset, sipping shitty lager and shouting at each other to be heard over the air conditioner. Why are motel air conditioners always so fucking loud, anyway?

"Rey did something to upset you earlier, didn't she?" Finn said, eying Kylo over the lip of his bottle.

Kylo shook his head and frowned. "Rey didn't do anything wrong. I was on the phone, is all."

Finn nodded, took a drag, and blew the bitter smoke out his nose. "Okay. She wants to apologize to you anyway. You should go in, see what she has to say."

Kylo rolled the rapidly-warming bottle between his palms. 

"She's taking a shower," he said, pointing out the obvious.

Finn's smile grew into a grin. "I guess she wants to be clean for you."

The implication was obvious and, despite his rapidly growing hardon, Kylo wasn't exactly sure how he felt.

"Are you okay?" He asked Finn, "with..." he waved his cigarette, leaving a trail of smoke around his head.

"Well, sure. Man, I've been in love with Rey since we were kids, nothing's gonna change that. She likes you, Kylo. A lot." He leaned forward, his voice dropped to a whisper. "I like you. We can do this. If you want."

"I don't know," Kylo muttered, eyes on the ground. "I mean..." but he was silenced by insistent fingers tilting his chin up, followed by Finn's mouth pressed against his own. Finn's lips were soft and generous and tasted of beer and cigarettes, which should have been disgusting but wasn't.

Finn finally pulled away; his eyes were dark and intense. "Go in," he said, stroking Kylo's cheek before leaning back in his chair. "I'll be right behind you. Just need to finish my beer." He held up the bottle and sloshed the contents around.

Kylo took a deep breath to steady himself, stood up, and let himself back into the room.

* * *

Rey was already out of the shower, sitting on the edge of the bed closest to the bathroom. Her hair was pulled into a bun at the top of her head, she was sitting on a white towel, and she was naked.

"Hey," she said, giving him a wave as he pushed the door shut behind him. 

"Hey," he said, taking two steps and wishing he sounded more confident.

Rey looked him up and down, and smiled in a way that made him think she was satisfied with him. He wanted her to look at him like that all the time, and that was exactly what he needed. While she watched he got down on one knee and took off one boot, then the other, then took off his socks and stuffed them in the boots. Pulling off his t-shirt and dropping it on the other bed, Kylo took the last three steps to stand directly in front of her.

He wanted to talk to her but he didn't know what to say, so instead of speaking he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans and pulled out his cock. While he did this Rey watched his face, not his hands, which was unexpected and felt intimate and strange, but once his cock was out and in her face she turned her attention to it. She made a noise, a sort of delightful "oh!" and then she took it in her mouth, just like that. Like it was what she wanted to do, and maybe she'd wanted to do it for a while.

Things happened quickly after that. Finn came in the door and watched from the corner, but when Kylo got close he came over and held him, kissed his shoulder and whispered sweet things in his ear, said sweet things to both of them, put his warm hand on Kylo's stomach and pressed against it when he came.

Then somehow Finn was naked too, and that was strange but also really good. He showed Kylo the best ways to touch Rey and Rey showed Kylo the best ways to touch Finn and they both experimented with Kylo because he was having trouble telling them what he liked. But it didn't seem to matter because they were having an excellent time figuring it out.

Hux - Hux, who was probably going to kill him the day after tomorrow, and who would kill both Rey and Finn without blinking an eye - Hux had once had a threesome with a couple and insisted on telling Kylo about it. It had been fun, apparently, although the lurid details seemed suspect to Kylo, but Hux had said that by the end he was superfluous and they unceremoniously kicked him out so they could finish by themselves.

Kylo kept waiting for that to happen, but it never did. Finn would ask for his help holding Rey in position, or Rey would instruct him to stroke Finn _right there_ , or the two of them would hold him down and stroke him together, but he was always there, an integral part of the whole.

At some point Rey was on top of him, riding him to orgasm again - he'd lost track, wasn't even sure what time it was or how long they'd been fucking - and she was whimpering in his ear... "Kylo, oh Kylo, oh _fuck_..." And for some reason he didn't understand he shook his head.

"Call me Ben," he growled, giving her a name he hadn't used since childhood, a name associated with parents he no longer knew and a life that was no longer his, the name that nobody knew anymore aside from Snoke - not even Hux.

Rey breathed the name into his ear, and Finn breathed it into his other ear, and for the first time in so very long, Kylo thought he was exactly where he was supposed to be, even though he knew it wouldn't last.

* * *

Hours later they lay together on one small bed, the clatter of the air conditioner and the swoosh of the occasional car driving by on the highway the only sounds. Finn was asleep, curled around Kylo's back, his arm around his torso, knee hooked over Kylo's hip. Rey was on Kylo's other side, facing him, tracing with one gentle fingertip his lips and eyebrows and the jagged scar that bisected the right side of his face.

"Are you in trouble?" She asked, stroking the divot in his chin.

"Yeah," he said.

"What kind?"

"Better if you don't know." 

When she'd given him the blowjob earlier, the first one, he'd taken the opportunity to touch her face, and he did it again now, although he doubted his fingers felt as calming as hers did. She smiled as he traced her eyebrows, down her nose, to her lips. She kissed the tip of his finger before drawing it into her mouth playfully. He moaned, and she let it go with a soft _pop_.

"Sorry," she said. Then, "I killed my foster father and stole his money, that's why we're running away."

Kylo kissed her mouth, and then her forehead.

"I figured it was something like that."

"Yeah. It was stupid, spur of the moment, but I'm not sorry. I have this dream about living on a mountain in Montana or something. Just us, free to be whoever we want. You know?"

Kylo nodded - he knew.

"We could kidnap you," Rey whispered, gazing into his eyes. Her own eyes were deep shining pools, colorless in the dim light of the room. "We have a gun. We could take you with us, force you. You couldn't say no." Her voice was insistent, beseeching. "Come with us, Ben. Don't go wherever it is you're going. Stay with us."

He thought about it for a minute, and then he kissed her again.

"Let's talk about it in the morning, okay? Better to make big decisions after a good night's sleep."

Rey nodded, and smiled, and kissed him one more time before rolling over and curling herself against his chest. Kylo held her tight to him, thought about what it would be like to live with them, with Rey and Finn, growing old together on the top of some mountain in Montana, and his heart broke.

Thirty minutes later Rey was asleep, and Kylo was gone. He'd left the five thousand dollars they'd given him to drive them west, and a note that explained as much as he could, which was much less than what they deserved but was all he could offer. As he drove into the night, tears streaming down his chin, he promised himself that if he lived through this he would find them again someday, Finn and Rey on their mountain in Montana, and maybe he would get his own happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for writing an epilogue in the end notes - I want you all to know that this isn't where the story ends, but I don't think it's worth writing a whole other chapter.
> 
> Ben survives the next couple of days; whatever he'd done to displease Snoke, he was forgiven - at least temporarily - and he was free to live another day. But that can only happen so many times before a man has a decision to make, and eventually Ben made that decision. It took him five more years, but he killed Snoke, and Hux, and probably a few other people as well, and then he went searching for Finn and Rey.
> 
> He never forgot them - thought about them every day, in fact, yearned for them - but he didn't really expect them to remember him. He eventually found them: Finn and Rey Orage, living just outside of Billings, Montana, very close to where he'd last seen them. Finn was working as a mail carrier, of all things, and Rey was some kind of computer engineer, although as far as Ben could tell she worked from home.
> 
> Ben was in Los Angeles by then, but as soon as he found them he drove twenty hours straight north. It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but then Ben Solo wasn't exactly known for his intellect. He was smart, sure, but he was also impatient and impulsive and that's the part of him he gave control to that day. 
> 
> Rey was home when he arrived, and although she was shocked to see him she was also incredibly pleased, which surprised Ben. He thought she'd be angry, thought she might scream at him for leaving them high and dry, but instead she took one look at him, pulled him in the door, then forced him to take a bath before she fed him and tucked him into bed with a cool cloth on his forehead.
> 
> When Ben woke up it was dark outside and Finn was curled around his back, his arm around his torso, knee hooked over his hip, and Rey was at his front, curled into his chest. It felt to him as though no time had passed, and he was back in that shitty motel with the angry air conditioner, and he was happy.
> 
> AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER


End file.
